Email address: Withheld by Alison

Does the size of my you know, penis really make a woman happier?  I am having real problems, my girlfriend says she can't cum as my penis is too small, I feel like a failure, I cum ok, always do, just can't seem to get it right for her, she'll leave me if I don't make her happy I know she will.

Please reply, I just need another womans opinion.

Your girlfriend may have underlying issues that result in her inability to climax during sex. She may not be as relaxed as you or even she may think......Climaxing isn't just a physical thing, her mental state does have to be in the right frame of mind too....So in answer to your question.....No it doesn't mean it is impossible for you to make her climax.

Every man and woman has a different build, whether it is their height and weight or whatever.......No two people are the same, which is what makes us all individual.......Use what you have been given.......We all have to make the best of ourselves,no matter what it is we are using!.......In my opinion, and you did ask for another womans perspective, concentrate on making her relax, don't put so much emphasis on the sex side of it......Relaxation, romance.......and maybe a nice lengthy but sensuous session of foreplay.......You will be very much appreciated, when you show your affections in such a way that your girlfriend can't help but climax.......Use your imagination a little, after all, fingers were not only made for writing with!

Your letter was based more upon how this little problem affects you, when what it really does is affect both of you......She is probably just as concerned as you, and her tactless remarks over size says to me that she may well be just abit frustrated. If you love eachother,you'll be fine, because you will work through your issue together......Give her a treat Neil, there is more than one part of your body that can make a woman climax!

Take care Alisonxx

Name:    anon
Email:  withheld@aol.com
Message: I met an amazing guy last year and we were dating for a month before he went to Fiji for 6 months. This was originally planned before we even met, and I wanted a relationship from him, but he insisted it wasn't a good idea because he was going to the University of Edinburgh to do an intensive two years masters when he returned. What hurted me was, when he got to Fiji, he slept with his ex and never contacted me. So, I decided to see someone until he returned. However, at the end of the first month, he decided to contact me when he realised that he missed me. After that, we spoke every week either via email or phone and when he got back, spontaneously, he asked for a relationship. We were committed for 6 weeks, until he started his masters, whereby the course got too much and he was becoming weak at correspondence. So he had the strength to call it off, when I didn't. A couple of days after he slept with some girl in his course, and so I did the same, but then he started contacted me to see if I was ok. I was upset, because he slept with her and since I was in love with him, we continued seeing each other in a non-commital way, but he never kept me a secret to anyone. I would visit him at his university probably twice in a space of two months but emails and texts in between. And it was only during this strange '#ff0000' relationship that he decided to tell me the real reason why he broke up with me. When we were first dating (before he went to Fiji), I made the stupid mistake of telling him that in my lifetime I had slept with 24 men. And he broke it off because, he couldn't accept that. = ( And so, in the beginning of 2007, things started getting intense, he started telling me that he was having intense feelings. And this time round, he is going to Hawaii to do research for 8 months, and I am very upset because, he has not asked me for a committed relationship, but thats understandable because long distance for 8 months is just painful. But, he did tell me at the end of last week, "if I miraculously grow up and get over this idea of you having a past of 24 men, I would seriously consider a relationship with you again". He wants to continue contact and tells me that he will miss me so much in Hawaii, and has even said there is a possibility of me coming to see him in Autumn. What I want to know is, is there evidence of couples getting together after a long struggle of distance and silly problems such as not accepting my girlfriend had been with 24 men in the past?

Dear Anon!

Your 'friend' does have to grow up as he says, and realise that everyone has had a past no matter what that entales! He has a past too, how many women has he slept with? No doubt he has not been a monk!

We all have a past, and if he can't get his head around that then he truly isn't worth your time and hassle! He must see you for who you are, and if he can't then, well, I'm sorry, I wouldn't even comprehend allowing him into my life.

Do not allow this man to control your future, he is the one playing games........put a stop to it now.........tell him that you care for him, but unless there is a clear and fast answer from him as regards your relationship future then you cannot wait for him..........he cannot control you,and this is what he is doing! In your letter, it states 'he will consider another relationship with you!'.......Sorry, but I would not put up with that, 'consider'.......who the hell does he think he is?  Obviousley rates himself as a good catch, is this really the type of bloke you want? One who rates himself higher than you? And one who most certainly will at some point throw your past back at you!

Don't hang waiting, be firm and in control.........if he doesn't respond or like it, then he doesn't really care about you enough!

Be brave. This man is a possible control freak!

Take care

Alisonxx


Dear Alison

I feel slightly embarrassed about emailing you quite a personal problem, though this is why I chose you, as I feel too shy to open up to someone close. You may find my problem trivial, but to me it is more serious.
I  have a boyfriend whom i love dearly, hes great in very way, he loves me, and cares for me, and doesn't play around or anything like that, hes also good in bed, which is a bonus, but just sometimes I feel that maybe its not enough, I feel selfish feeling like this, as hes done nothing wrong at all, fact hes done the opposite, sometimes too much.
I like excitement, danger and thrills, and well you don't always get that in a full on solid relationship, i haven't cheated on him, and haven't even wanted to, I just sort of miss the naughty side of life, i guess what I miss is the newness and the naughty sexy side... What should I do?
Thanks for reading.
Awaiting your reply.

Hello

Hey at some stage in a relationship we all feel 'comfortable', and sometimes we like it, sometimes we don't.........You are not alone in this feeling.
A good solid relationship is hard to come by, and many people crave just that, but just sometimes it is nice to inject a little wild raw emotion in there and spice it up abit, theres nothing wrong with a bit of naughtiness you know!
Without constant attention and 'trying' any relationship has the potential to dry up a little and become slightly 'usual', this is how you maybe feeling right now, it's not that you want to stray etc it is more that you want to refeel that spark and excitement with the guy you love, and that's only natural, so don't go thinking you are selfish and attention seeking, as you are not!
We all like abit of passion and thrills at some stage, and I am no exception, so go with how you feel.........
1) A nice evening out or in, a bottle or two of wine, and some quality time just the two of you.
2) A film on that both of you enjoy, maybe something with a little eroticism.
3) Some sultry sexy perfume on and a nice, sexy silky little number.
4)Keep you hands to yourself and do allow him to come to you.
5) If the heat does turn up, suggest making love out of the bedroom, and maybe leave the light on. ie) Lounge,kitchen etc.
6) If you have both in the past watched any 'sexy' films together, now would be a good time to pop one on!
7)Whisper sexy naughty words to him and watch him change gear!

You have to allow your bloke to change at his own pace, or else it can appear to him that you feel things haven't been going good enough for you to be satisfied, so be subtle, but do not give in at the first hurdle, as some men will gladly sit back whilst you do all the work you know!  You don't have to be a sex goddess to spark up a relationship, you merely have to want to do it!

Enjoy and good luck!

Alison xx


Dear Alison

I suppose as problems go, this is going to sound like nothing important, and as my general everyday life goes, it is nothing, but saying this I am I suppose frustrated enough to end up emailing you for some hopeful impartial advice.
Who else can I turn to to ask a well embarrassing question? I feel silly for even feeling as I do.
When me and my boyfriend, who have been together ages, are in bed, we do have an ok sex life, we make love regularly, we kiss and cuddle just as we should, we hold hands after etc.....But and there is always a but, I miss the oral side, you know, oral sex is probably my favourite sexual act, both giving and receiving, I am unsure but I have always felt that maybe he doesn't really like giving it, I know he enjoys receiving it,who wouldn't, he shows this by holding my head closer so I take him deeper in my mouth when I am giving him oral, but he doesn't do it to me very often,fact is I can't remember the last time he did. I miss oral alot as it really gets me going and always makes me climax. What should I do?

Hello

A senario commonly felt I would imagine, there is quite oftenly felt an imbalance in the bedroom as far as mutual sexual acts goes.
You do have to be honest with your boyfriend, at the end of the day he is getting his kicks, why shouldn't you? It is so common to hear that the oral side of sex isn't reciprocated, but that doesn't mean it is fair, so you must talk to him about this, as it is obviousley annoying you or frustrating you enough to email me.
Maybe he isn't quite as keen on giving it as you are, that is quite possible, and you can't force him to do something he isn't comfortable with no matter how unfair it feels to you...It would only be the same in instance if it was role reversal, and you was the more 'unwilling' partner, you would not like him trying to force you to do something you wasn't comfortable with. If he doesn't like doing it, or doesn't want tp try it again, you do have to respect his feelings, and decide for yourself 'is it worth it after all?'  because you  do risk ruptions in your relationship if you persue him doing something he isn't willing about.
Maybe though in fact he hasn't realised the imbalance, maybe he thinks you aren't bothered about receiving oral as you haven't mentioned this problem to him yet..... Try talking to him!
This isn't an easy topic to bring up at home I know, but you won't see any change at all if you don't speak up, afterall, who wouldn't enjoy just lying back and thinking of england whilst you do all the work?
You will though have to be prepared for his reply, and it maybe not the answer you are wishing for, so be prepared to maybe compromise a little, or you will definately see cracks in your relationship, compromise is the name of the game, as it always is with life generally!
There are more ways to enjoy eachothers bodies during sex than oral, and maybe having a go at some new techniques and being more adventurous would combat your withdrawal symtoms for oral if he isn't happy about doing it.Use your imagination and I am sure from how you emailed me, that you do have a few tricks up your slieve that you could try! Your sexlife doesn't have to revolve around oral sex, there are plenty of other options to try. But don't give up just yet, talking to your boyfriend is the first thing to do!

Good luck!
Alisonxx